I am officially 26 years old

Should I even be admitting this? When I was 17 I told everyone I was 23. Now I should just tell everyone I’m 19.

At least I can say I survived this long! You guys helped me a lot. Someone even sent me a present of $200. That’s more than my entire family gave me combined. I can’t stress how important it is that you guys have my back. Yet this isn’t about money. If you have my back you have my back. If you support me than you support me. Whether it’s through friendship, promotion, collaboration, feedback, dispelling negative rumors, or simply listening to my music I consider you someone who supports EH.

Please don’t feel guilty if you couldn’t send me any money. Feel guilty if you saw a single individual being assaulted by an entire group and did absolutely nothing. Feel guilty if you joined a pathetic clique and sacrificed your true friends for social status. Feel guilty if you hung out with a bunch of neo-nazi’s at your local club so you could feel uber-rivet-kore. Feel guilty if you never spoke out against the war in Iraq. The war on drugs. The war on our civil liberties after 9/11.

Feel guilty if you never fought back. Ignored the problem. Ignored the truth. Went with the flow without questioning the ocean. Went with the group because you didn’t want to deal with any drama – even though you completely disagreed with them. Feel guilty if you’re only supporting my music because you think I’m hot. Feel guilty if you said you didn’t like a band because you didn’t want your friends to make fun of you. Feel guilty if you said you liked a band you never listened to so you could sit at the VIP table.

I’ve been spending my birthday on a road trip across the country. This is a very pivotal point in my life. I am working on finding a place to live so I will no longer be homeless. I am working on getting back in school. Finding the right therapist. Finding the right network of legal support. Building a new musical studio. Finishing my new album. Releasing this new compilation. Signing new artists. Publishing my book. I am working at surviving. What are you working on? Hopefully it’s not getting rid of your “negative friends” because your “negative friends” will be there for you when shit hits the fan. Everyone else will run away. As loners we unite.

The new conspiracy,
Rachel Haywire