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I have always had a strong distaste for mysticism. How is mysticism any different from mainstream religion anyway? You take one person with a delusion and you call him or her a schizophrenic. You take a small group of people with a delusion and you call them a cult. You take a large group of people with a delusion and you call them a religion. Where does philosophy fall into the picture and how far can one get sucked into a reality tunnel of their own design? Is it possible to enter a wonderland or matrix and trap yourself in your own religious/mystic thinking? Spending a large portion of my life in occult social groups my answer would be yes. After attending a pagan conference I decided to escape from my alterna-wonderland once and for all. There was too much mysticism at this conference and it freaked me out in a bad way. Going to this pagan event was like going to a church or temple mixed with Burning Man and I wanted to scream. The allergic reaction began only this time I couldn’t blame the reaction on being allergic to pagans. That would have been mysticism. This was not a sign. There was no such thing as a sign. I realized I could no longer blame any of my bad luck on mysticism. All of those times I struggled? They had nothing to do with me being some powerful demon goddess. I was simply struggling.

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