I’ve decided to become a blogger now. An actual blogger as opposed to another voice on facebook on twitter. One of the things that people like about Experiment Haywire is that they get to know me as a person and that I’m not living in some ivory tower. It’s easy to get a hold of me.
Not everything that I say makes people happy but one thing I will never be is fake-to-appease-the-masses. I think it’s silly that I should have to “watch what I’m saying” online when I’ve worked this hard to establish my own company where I don’t need to follow social rules. Yet I must admit that posting so much personal information to my social networks (and posting about legal issues, music industry drama, etc.) was a pretty stupid move. It’s hard for me to realize the obvious sometimes but a few good friends confronted me and I didn’t lash out on them. Instead I decided to fix the problem. Confrontation doesn’t cause me to lash out. Being passive aggressive does. I have made a lot of mistakes and I would like to correct them.
I will still be talking to people on facebook on twitter through personal messages and I will still be making public posts. Many of them will lead here. This website is currently being redesigned and ever since LiveJournal I have seriously missed blogging. So here it begins. A new blog. Where I can have social rants, discuss my personal issues, post updates about my music, share lyrics, share feelings, and do whatever the hell I want without the limitation of 140 characters.
-Rachel Haywire
New poem I wrote called “Popular”
popular
one day i’ll be popular
not popular like the queen bee of some social clique
but popular like her arch nemesis who overthrows the high school dance
infamous
beautiful outcasts from all over the world
will quote me and email me and form opinions on me
and discuss me for hours and hours
i’ll be to the underground what angelina jolie is to hollywood
too much to handle
too bright for the room
the icon you’re afraid of clicking on
and everybody will scream my name
especially when they beat their girlfriends
one day i’ll be popular
compared to junkies and prostitutes and martyrs
only with tattoos and piercings to make things a bit more current
my range of influence will cover anybody who’s ever been kicked out
kicked at
kicked on
the cutting edge couldn’t handle us
and that’s only a compliment if you’re having delusions of grandeur
but one day i’ll be popular
kids will write to me right before they kill themselves
people will drop my name to get spots at night clubs
whether it’s mindless praise or mindless slander it’s still pretty mindless
and their name is still on the flyer
people will unite against me and for me and to me
and with each other about me
people who have never met me will talk about all of our wild interactions
one day i’ll be popular
i’ll have thousands of friends but nobody to talk to
the rotating door will explode
stop caring so much about what other people think of you
it’s not the kind of fame i wanted
but the high school dance was so boring
and the queen bee of that social clique was so nasty
but one day – and maybe not today or even tomorrow – but one day
and i know it
i’ll be respected
people will stop talking about me
they’ll talk to me instead
introduce themselves without trying to impress or belittle me
and i’ll try not to tell them
about how i used to be popular
(c) Rachel Haywire | 6/28/10